Experiment #9: My Boyfriend's a Dinosaur!
"So you're not human," Jean said. She took a step away. The creature took a step closer.
"I always wanted to be," he said in a deep, raspy voice. "I can obviously pass as one most of the time, but then you caught me!" He chuckled, though the sound was gravelly and rough, and took another step closer to her.
His breath on her face was warm, moist, and smelled as rank as anything she had ever smelled. "Ugh. Are you going to eat me or not? Your rank breath will kill me first at this rate." She plugged her nose and leaned away.
"I can't help it, I'm a raptor," he said. "Minty-fresh breath isn't exactly part of the package deal." She waved the smell of his words out of her face, doing her utmost too fight off the disgust she felt written all over her face.He sighed and took a step back.
She let out a sigh of relief. "So I take it you're not going to eat me then?"
His eyes glinted in the faint light of the locker room. "Well, never say never." He licked his lips and guffawed when she noticeably shuddered. He chuckled when she shot him a sharp look. "Relax, I won't eat you. I'm your boyfriend, why would I eat you?"
She scoffed. "Because you're a fucking dinosaur, Derek! What the fuck! You're a giant lizard with extremely sharp teeth and for the past month, you've been my boyfriend!"
He looked like he may have been smiling, but his scaly face was much harder to read than his normal, human one. "And what a wonderful month it's been! Let's do something this weekend!"
She stared at him hard. "Do something this weekend? Like what? Hunt for eggs? Eat prey? Maybe just run really fast for a while?"
This time, he stared at her hard. "Hey, I'm not just some animal."
"No, you're an extinct one. Again, what the fuck, Derek? How do you manage to pass as a human? Like, you have scales and claws. And you're, like, eight feet tall!"
He picked his baseball hat off the floor and put it on his head. In that instant, he seemed to meld into another shape. The blob reformed into Derek, her brown hair, blue eyed boyfriend from the baseball team who had seemed totally normal, albeit perfect to her, until now.
"Whoa, that's weird. Is it the hat that controls your form? Is it magic or something? How is that even possible?"
He sighed. "Just about as possible as a dinosaur that can speak and turn into a human." He smirked at me. "And get a girlfriend."
She smacked his arm. "Yep, just makes a lot of sense, all of this." Her voice was coming out a little hysterical now.
"You're telling me! I don't even know how this happened! The first thing I remember is walking through a park and meeting you! I was in human form at the time, and all I could think about was having opposable thumbs and being able to use a fork. It was all very exciting," he said, though he still appeared to be excited by his newfound skills.
She couldn't help but laugh at this. "Well, at least you're human-like in your personality. It's probably why nobody has considered that something about you might be off. Like not knowing how to use a toilet."
He blushed. "There are a lot of new parts of my body that I just—"
"Nope!" She exclaimed, cutting him off. "Not going there." She looked at his eyes and thought about how human they appeared. "Well, as long as you keep the hat on, you'll be able to pass as a human."
His eyes widened. "You'll keep this a secret?"
She smiled. "Only if you can show me some cool dinosaur tricks!"